Finding the Purpose in Everyday
Written by Lorraine Kingsley | 6th April 2024
How does God speak to you? And when he speaks, do you instantly go with what he says, or do you start to negotiate, or do doubts set in?
In my experience, discernment is really difficult!
In 2015, when I was on retreat, I felt God say to me in relation to my working life, ‘You have planted this garden for long enough; it’s time to plant a new one.’
That all seemed pretty clear. It was time for a new season. Time to lay down my leadership of the charity initiative Toilet Twinning, and time to invest in a ‘new thing’. And as I prayed into this ‘new garden’, I felt certain it was a calling to church leadership.
But in the seven years that followed – yep, seven whole years – 84 months – 2,555 weeks – the ongoing steps of obedience and trust towards ordination in the Church of England became far far harder to take than the initial ‘yes and Amen’ was to say.
Because in the twists and turns, the unanswered questions, the enigma, the waiting, the doubts and the fears – my ‘yes and Amen’ turned out to be ‘yes’ to a season of lament. A season in which the cry of my soul – often expressed while walking my little dog along the beach each morning – was full of pain and anguish and set-backs and confusion.
Matthew 11 v 27 – 30 (The Message)
“…No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I’m not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen. Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Until the summer of 2023, when God stopped me in my tracks. In the midst of my rhythm of lament along the beach in Southbourne, God said to me, ‘What would it look like Lorraine if you let me start the conversation?’
And in that moment, as I watched the waves crash upon the shore, I realised that my prayer times had singularly become about my difficulties and challenges with the path to church ministry. I suddenly realised that I would only let God get a word in edgeways after I’d listed all the things that I didn’t understand. But God no longer wanted to talk about the things that I wanted to talk about! In fact, God plainly said to me, ‘I have many other things that I want to share with you, and show you, so perhaps it would help if you let me start the conversation!’
How did it take me so long to hear God say this? It now seems so obvious that we need to invite God to start the conversation each day, while we listen, so we align with what’s on his heart, which might not be the same as what’s on ours!
Psalm 27:4
One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
Having finally been ordained in the summer of 2023, I am now a curate in a parish in north Bournemouth. Is this the ‘new garden’ that God called me to plant? I don’t know! But I do know that God simply asks me to love the person standing or sitting in front of me. So, whether I go for coffee with a parishioner, or sit on a bench in the High Street, or help lead a community choir, or preach in pyjamas (yes, that’s really happened!), I want only one thing: for the person in front of me to encounter the love of Jesus.
I am not called to a ‘thing’ – but simply to a life of discipleship in which I seek the power and presence of God, not as a means to an end, but as the only thing that matters. And I have learnt these past seven years that the power and presence of God is in the ordinary and mundane, as much as it is in the spontaneous and surprising – perhaps even more so.
My recent season has been lament. I don’t yet know what life beyond lament looks like! But in whatever season you find yourself in, I am confident that your ‘yes and Amen’ will be an opportunity for those around you to encounter the incredible presence and power of our loving, generous, all-sufficient Father God. And I am equally confident that everything else will take care of itself.
Isaiah 55:1-3
“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!... Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live.”
LET’S DO THIS
'Why not right now, let God ‘start the conversation’ as you surrender your all to Him and say Lord however and whatever my ‘yes’ looks like, I trust you, daily.
You may find this helpful as you do this:
You start Lord, what do you want to say?
I give you my agenda Lord
I invite you now
I’m listening Lord
Lord, have your way in me
As you begin each day with your ‘Yes Lord’ enjoy his words speaking to you, as you pursue Him with all your heart. This is it beautiful friends, it’s surrendering your all to Him, following his lead and listening to His guiding voice lead you with whatever he puts in your hands at the time.