Leading as I am

Written by Leanne Smit | 12th February 2022

Be honest …how do you react to these statements? 

‘Influential people don’t have to be on a stage’, or; 

‘You can lead from behind the scenes’, or what about;

‘You can be an introvert and a leader’.

Perhaps this is a no brainer for you and ‘of course’ is your response. Well, I didn’t always believe these statements and it has taken several years to truly believe and celebrate being a leader who almost never stands in the spotlight. 

I am sure most of us have talked about our personality type and may even have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test or something similar. I am not a proponent of these tests as there are always pro’s and con’s to them, however you might have had some insight into whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. (Labels are generally unhelpful but let’s go with it for now).  Well, I’ve always leaned to having introverted tendencies which led me to believe the lie that my ‘introvertedness’, (is that even a word?), meant that I could not be an influencer/leader in the same way extroverts could!

I first realised this was something I was believing when I was asked to join a woman’s leadership team in my church. Do you know what my internal response was? ‘Why on earth do they need little me?’.  I could feel myself slowly sinking under the pressure to perform and be spotlighted.

The lie

Surely leading a connect group or being on the woman’s team, meant that I had to be ready to serve from the front?

If you noticed I said, ‘I believed the lie’, that’s because it is a lie and a debilitating, paralysing trap from the enemy to stamp on and destroy any sense of God’s design and gifting in a person. It constricts the expression of our Father’s beautiful church when only extroverts preach, lead, and greet you at the door.

The Truth

My identity journey began many years ago; slowly growing in my understanding how my heavenly Father sees me. In fact, I believe that all our journeys of identity begin when we submit to our Heavenly Father, choosing Him to be our Lord and saviour. It’s a journey, and not a race which means that our eyes must constantly be fixed towards Him.  Looking sideways at our sisters in Christ, comparing ourselves to them in some sort of distorted tick list of achievements, abilities, and gifting, is dangerous and unhelpful.  

I had to rest in His acceptance, and I made a choice to start aligning my thinking with how He sees me rather than stewing in my disbelief and constantly discounting myself before the whistle was blown at the starting line. 

How did I do this?

First of all, I had to get real. And I got real with some of my best and closest friends who knew me well enough for me to be a little bit emotional. Yip girls there was some snot and ugly noises involved but getting real meant I could be true to myself and what I was thinking in that quiet place ….my head! (Scary place sometimes)

Secondly, I gave my friends permission to speak biblical truths over me. They told me how Jesus sees me, how they saw me.  To reach the ‘gold’ they saw in me, meant exposing the lies that I was believing about myself.

Thirdly, I had to get real with my Father; and this was so hard. I felt so embarrassed speaking out this rubbish to Him even though I knew He was standing there with arms wide open. I started to repent and renounce the lie that I had been believing over myself for so long. This lie had made me feel totally inferior to others, inadequate and the lesser member of any team I was on.  It made me shut down and step away from leading countless times. 

Lastly, I spoke out the truth. We are transformed by the renewing of our minds, not by trying harder.

I said, “I choose to believe that God has made me to be an influencer for Him. He has clothed me with giftings and a personality like no other, with an individual purpose like no other, to be able to reach those around me in my unique and specific way and to walk alongside others, (team or individuals), encouraging and finding the ‘gold’ in them and to bring out the truth of who they truly are.”

So, I said lastly …. but it is definitely not last because this is a daily journey for me. Even though I may blip along the way, and I do, believe me, I take courage in knowing that even though I am an introverted kinda gal, I know that God made me this way. Just like Jonathan needed his armour bearer to support, strengthen and prepare him for battle, and ultimately help Jonathan defeat the enemy; in the same way I believe that as a introverted leader, part of a leadership team, I can confidently play my part and just be me, bringing my gifting to the table like any other.

So, this is a small part of my journey, and I am sure you have your own stories to tell of lies, breakthroughs and freedom, but my encouragement to you today is to continue to press in. Allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any lies you may be believing about yourself and don’t delay in doing business with your Father, He is ready and waiting and loves you so very much…. just the way He created you.